Home      News      Nazimail      Timeline      Artifacts      FAQ      Co-Creators      Links
6-10-2016: Twelve years after releasing "The Passion of the Christ", word is that Mel Gibson is planning to make a film about the rise of Hitler.
10-20-2011: After a few years of being down and hosted by loyal fans, Jesus is Hitler is back up and running under a new domain name, jesusishitler.net. More updates to come!
01-24-2003: The Fox Network is about to launch a new sitcom next year to air on their Tuesday night lineup. The idea was brought to the table by a suspicious looking fellow, who had on platinum swastika on a chain and long, brown hair. The show was originally titled "Mad About Jews" was immediately changed to "Nazi Paradise", starring David Cross.
01-23-2003: More Nazimail coming soon.
12-25-2003: Merry Hitlermas
12-21-2003: More Nazimail added.
12-12-2003: Two are dead and 19 injured in a bombing in Tel Aviv, Israel. The following photograph was taken at the scene just after the bombing.
12-10-2003: More Nazimail.
12-07-2003: Corporal Karl Tresckow, who served with Hitler in World War I, had written in his diary a story in which he saw Hitler get cornered by the enemy, yet manage to get away by running across a lake. His story was dismissed as wartime dimentia, but he stuck to it until yesterday, when he died at the age of 109. On his deathbed, his last words were "Hitler ist Christ".
12-02-2003: A hardened, stuck up old Catholic woman was complaining that snowmen don't have anything to do with Christmas, the birthday of her "Lord and Savior", and should be taken out of all Christmas ornaments and decorations. Just then, a mysterious man with long hair and a white robe stepped out from behind a light post and argued that decorative snowmen would be perfectly acceptable, if and only if they were dressed in military outfits with a square piece of coal under their carrot. The woman looked at him as if he were crazy, and then he pulled out a notepad and sketched this drawing:
11-30-2003: New hatemail section added to the site under the heading of Nazimail.
11-28-2003: A 9-year-old Jewish boy, who was testing out his brand new electric wheelchair that he received for his birthday, was struck and killed by a station wagon in a hit and run accident. Witnesses said that it almost looked as if the car intentionally swerved onto the curb to hit the boy. Nobody saw the driver and there was no license plate, but they did see this bumper sticker:
11-21-2003: Artifacts have been discovered in Jerusalem providing powerful evidence that Jesus is Hitler. The artifacts include a dreidel with a swastika on it, and a scroll with an anti-Semitic version of the dreidel song written on it.
11-20-2003: This just in: Jesus STILL hates Jews.
11-18-2003: Jesus was at a library to check out some of the latest neo-Nazi books to catch up on hating tactics when he noticed a woman reading a book titled "Symbols of Judaism". When he saw this, he became enraged and carved a swastika into her tabled and exclaimed, "I've got your symbol of Judaism right here, BITCH!" She looked up and gasped at the sight of an angry Christ. He quickly ripped off her head and threw it at her. He then walked toward the exit and winked at the librarian, who looked up and shouted "Heil Jesus" and cleaned up the mess.
11-13-2003: After the story of two Israeli infant deaths as a result of faulty kosher baby formula, our sources tell us that in the weeks before the incidents a tall sinister looking man with a Hitler moustache and a white gown was mysteriously hanging around the companies distribution center.
11-11-2003: Christ is said to be in talks with several publishing houses regarding the printing and distribution of the Bible. He apparently wants to make a revision, adding somewhere that it be a mortal sin to tell a blond joke.
11-09-2003: According to the Pope, word came down from Jesus late last night. He told the Pope, in no uncertain terms, that he wants the next Pope to be known not as "Pope" but as "das Fuhrer".
11-03-2003: Jesus was seen at a National Coney's Island where he ordered only a garden salad and a grilled cheese sandwich. His waitress said that she saw him carving the phrase "meat is murder" into his forearm with a butter knife.
11-01-2003: Reports have surfaced regarding Jesus's passing out of candy on Halloween. Several witness accounts allege that Jesus had 2 separate bowls of candy that he was passing out. One was specifically labeled "poison" and marked with a skull and crossbones. The other was labeled "gentiles" and marked with the Star of David in a circle with a line through it.
10-30-2003: At a international press conference in Toronto, Jesus appeared with bleached blonde hair and blue contacts in his eyes to make an announcement. He said that from this day forth, he wants dates to switch over from the standard BC/AD format to BH/AH, (ie. Before Hitler/After Holocaust.)
10-25-2003: Jesus was in court, where he was being sued for child support by a German woman with whom he had a one night stand. During the proceedings, a Jewish lawyer walked into the courtroom by mistake. Jesus got the Jewish lawyers name, followed him home, force fed him pork until he passed out, then kicked him in the stomach, thus making him burst. Related note: A copy of the movie Seven was rented out earlier that day to a tall man with long brown hair who went by the name J. Christ and reportedly hovered out of the video store.
10-21-2003: Jesus was spotted at an AA meeting in Detroit. Christ allegedly said, "I have to face my demons again". An AA member asked, "You mean you have a bout with the devil coming up?". To which Christ responded, "No, I mean I've started drinking again. I fell off the wagon when I read about the soaring Jewish population in Germany.
10-19-2003: A bus collided with a semi-truck that was shipping toy cows. The family of Rabbi Joseph Pilfman, all of which are Jewish, were killed in the accident. The driver of the truck got away, but was said to have had long, brown hair and a halo.
10-10-2003: Jesus Christ appeared on David Letterman to promote his new sitcom "What Happened to Oliver?". He talked about his favorites such as pot, wine, and crackers. Jesus wasn't told that Adam Sandler was the musical guest. When Sandler came out and sang the Hanukkah Song, Jesus beat him to death with his guitar and then floated away.
10-03-2003: A middle school in Iowa appeared to spontaneously combust while a 7th grade class was reading the book "Number the Stars". Just after the incident, Jesus was spotted near the scene victoriously clapping.
09-25-2003: While Jesus was eating dinner at a restaurant in Chicago, some idiot waitress spilled a glass of wine on the floor. She shouted "Jesus Christ" in anger. Jesus responded "What?" and the place got real quiet. Jesus then took out his Men in Black memory eraser, flashed it, and jumped in his 1999 Ford Mustang and drove away.
09-18-2003: At a conference in Washington DC, Jesus plants a trap for Joseph Lieberman in a bowl of pretzels. The plan went to waste after Bush ate the the bowl and choked on a pretzel. Again. The only reason he survived is because Jesus quickly disguised himself as Dick Cheney and rescued the president.
09-11-2003: Two years after the September 11th tragedy, a video is released on the internet of Jesus speaking in Eskimo language about his next attack on the Jewish race.